Well, here we are, Charlie and Colton at the grand opening of the greatest weblog ever!!! It's like having our own coffee shop for people to hang out in, except it will be open 24-7!!! But, I guess there isn't any coffee… OH WAIT! There's some virtual coffee right behind your computer screen! Just break through the monitor to claim your cup today! (For a limited time only, not valid in conjunction with any other offer, not valid with espresso, cappuccino, macchiato, or anything that could possibly be labeled as "good". If you wish to make an exchange we can only give you something of lesser or much lesser value.)
Right, so anyways, I don't think that me and Colton have anything in common except that we have both been to earth once…
How then, you ask, did we come to start this website together? Well, I'll tell you. We were sitting around eating a caribou, when Colton says, "When we grow up, I guess we'll have to get one of those "job" thingies…" I said, "Yeah, I figure I'll be a rock star." And Colton says, "How? You can't play any instruments, and you can't sing to save your skinny white behind!" So I say, "yeah, that's true. BUT WAIT! I can play the Kazoo!!!" And here is where the wisdom of Colton shines through like the soft, delicate rays of sun gently pierce through the clouds of yesterday's miscalculated Mesopotamian smoke signals… he said: "We should stick with comedy."
So we arranged a tour of the greater America region ("greater" because it's better than the rest. j/k) and we scheduled a European tour back-to-back with it, and all the leaders of every nation were prepared to roll out their proverbial red carpets to us. But we called it off, we weren't sure our families could take the agony of our absence.
Thusly, we have decided to launch the greatest blog ever: Syphon of Insanity!!!
So, what makes this blog the best? All the cool kids are here. AAAAAND, we want participation! What we mean by this is that you can ask us questions, and we'll answer, you can suggest topics, and we will divulge our innermost thoughts on the subject. For instance, you can be like, "average rainfall in the Amazon basin" . And we'll be like -_- and proceed to write you our humorous and/or deep views upon the subject. So, if you want to get involved here by asking questions, giving feedback, etc, or just want to sit back and watch the fun, this site is for you! Everyone, everything, everywhere, everyhow!
Lastly, for this grand opening post, we will do a short "definition of terms." This is so you as a reader can be in on the lingo. For your convenience, we will keep a running list of words/symbols/phrases on the right-hand side of your screen. We'll start with the basics, and then move into the more obscure.
lol: Laugh Out Loud (this phase has been widely misinterpreted to mean "little old ladies" or "lots of love" )
brb: Be Right Back (not: bath-room-break)
ROLF!!!: literally= Rolling on the Laughing Floor, used in times of extreme exclamation. (Do not confuse with ROFL)
If you ever have a question about something we say, do not hesitate to ask. Just press the "assistance" button right next to the "eject without parachute" button. Thank you, and have a nice flight.
Now that Charlie has said his piece... His introductory claim... I, Colton, will add my two cents.
There. Now that that's over with, I'd just like to say... Welcome! There's not a whole lot more I can add to all the nourishing things that Charlie complimented you all with (And you'd better be very grateful... He cannot stand unappreciative ingrates. He might stalk you down and use bear-jutsu all over your face... And we wouldn't want that, would we?), except that, in my defense, I never said "You can't sing to save your skinny white behind," I said, "You can't sing to save your scrawny white behind." Very different.
Pip pip, toodle-oo, cheerio, wot wot, and all that jazz...
~Colton and Quincy