Pickle Pirates

As the title may suggest... I am starting a roving band of nomadic pickle pirates. (Wait, how does it suggest that at all...?)

Anywho, I need spots to be filled. Charlie will be my first mate, although we will not call him Charlie. And along those same lines, I will not be called Colton. We will need special, piratey, names. What really is a pickle pirate, you may ask? Well, let's clear that confusion up before it continues any longer...!

pick⋅le /ˈpɪkəl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pik-uhl]

–noun

1. a cucumber that has been preserved in brine, vinegar, or the like.

pi⋅rate [pahy-ruht]

–noun

1. a person who robs or commits illegal violence at sea or on the shores of the sea.


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So, obviously, based on these definitions... We will be raiding pickle farms located near the sea and stealing all their pickles! Why, you ask? Hah! I scoff in the face of questions! I sneer at the inquisitive! I say, WHO NEEDS A REASON!

Who's with me?!

What Humans Do

2 years ago i would have said "i'll never be able to write song lyrics."

everything takes practice. the more you do it, the easier it will come.

people take easier to some things then others, but you can pretty much do anything if you have the passion and the patience.

of course you can have all the passion and patience in the world, but you'll never be able to catch an aquatic chicken...

so if you are feeling down, because you aren't good at something you wish you were good at, then just remember, as my good friend Josiah Olsen once sang, "Ice cream, and waterfalls / peanut-butter in my pocket!"

"there's no place like ice cream and waterfalls!"

-charlie

Polar Expedition: ...Update!

I have returned, my brethren! My mission was a success! As I'm sure you're all well aware, I struck out in early to mid-December to find my way to the North Pole. While there, I helped Santa with some last minute preparations for his worldwide sleigh ride. Needless to say, much work was required, (and I was completely pooped!), but it was all worth it! Santa's operation went down without a hitch!

*Insert clap track #4 here*

Except for that incy weency incident above the African plains... What? No, I did press the "eject load" button on the main console back at the North Pole... Why would I go and do a thing like that...?

Shortly after I recuperated from the arduous task of downing as many cups of hot cocoa as I could... I mean, bossing around the elves, I decided, "Hey. If I'm going to go all out... I might as well go all out!"

With my new resolve, I made my way to the nearest pet store, bought 16 huskies, and started training for the Iditarod!

What? No, I'm not crazy. Just Insane. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not? Ok, that's what I thought. Now sit down, and shut up. Thank you.

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I've just now decided that I won't bore you with the details of "Me Vs. The Iditarod"... (Sounds like a book title... My autobiography, maybe?) Just realize that soon after setting out, I had HORRIBLE problems... And I gave up. Because I'm a quitter. What? Wait, no I'm not... But nevertheless, I quit. I sold all my dogs and beat a hasty retreat home. And here I am. Feeling like a complete and utter failure. Although... I guess I was pretty helpful with Santa and everything...

~Colton

Mega Magnificent Music Mix-up Men

Hey guys! i obviously haven't been around, but i wanted you to know about my latest video project with some friends. we made some hilarious music videos that you can watch on youtube. just search mega magnificent music mix-up men!!! or go to my profile. http://www.youtube.com/user/machetemancc