Friday, March 20, 2009

Polar Expedition: ...Update!

I have returned, my brethren! My mission was a success! As I'm sure you're all well aware, I struck out in early to mid-December to find my way to the North Pole. While there, I helped Santa with some last minute preparations for his worldwide sleigh ride. Needless to say, much work was required, (and I was completely pooped!), but it was all worth it! Santa's operation went down without a hitch!

*Insert clap track #4 here*

Except for that incy weency incident above the African plains... What? No, I did press the "eject load" button on the main console back at the North Pole... Why would I go and do a thing like that...?

Shortly after I recuperated from the arduous task of downing as many cups of hot cocoa as I could... I mean, bossing around the elves, I decided, "Hey. If I'm going to go all out... I might as well go all out!"

With my new resolve, I made my way to the nearest pet store, bought 16 huskies, and started training for the Iditarod!

What? No, I'm not crazy. Just Insane. Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not? Ok, that's what I thought. Now sit down, and shut up. Thank you.

---

I've just now decided that I won't bore you with the details of "Me Vs. The Iditarod"... (Sounds like a book title... My autobiography, maybe?) Just realize that soon after setting out, I had HORRIBLE problems... And I gave up. Because I'm a quitter. What? Wait, no I'm not... But nevertheless, I quit. I sold all my dogs and beat a hasty retreat home. And here I am. Feeling like a complete and utter failure. Although... I guess I was pretty helpful with Santa and everything...

~Colton

9 comments:

Amber said...

I'm sorry in advance for my two cents' worth.... but I just have to say "shame, shame" for deserting your dog sled team like that... No wonder you had horrible problems! Dogs can read your feelings and emotions, and if you aren't the leader they won't give you their best . . .and if they know that you are going to quit they definitely aren't going to do you any favors!

By the way, next time you are planning to sell 16 Siberian Huskies, I call first bid ;).

Amber said...

By the way (I don't think I mentioned it in my too-opinionated statement above) - welcome back!

Charlie said...

Colton, you have no idea what you mess with, selling dogs... you're lucky amber didn't KILL you... well, i guess you're lucky she doesn't know where you live, because if she did, you'd be dead. "fed to the dogs" as they say, heh heh...

oh! i didn't know we had a clap track! sheesh, you could have told me... i'd be using it more often...

well, looks like the syphon might be back in business.

*insert clap track #4 here*

Amber said...

"fed to the dogs"....good idea. I've got four hungry ones .... Beware, or else "Colton-burger" could be in their dishes tomorrow ! JK

Charlie said...

Amber...

you

are


insane...




*insert clap track #4 here*

Amber said...

Yeah I know .... I guess I found the right blog ;)

Charlie said...

amber, you are presbyterian...

you did not find the right blog,...
the right blog found you...

;-)

Amber said...

Haha...

simplyamie said...

*clap track #4* = Awesomeness.